


No Scrubs

by Elexica



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, use of the word "listicle"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:47:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25437178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elexica/pseuds/Elexica
Summary: Buzzfeed listicles just don't do them justice.
Relationships: Jounouchi Katsuya | Joey Wheeler/Kaiba Seto
Comments: 14
Kudos: 42
Collections: Spirit Gate Round 11





	No Scrubs

**Author's Note:**

> To the extent that this is a songfic—consider the Weezer cover of “No Scrubs.”
> 
> Inspired by another conversation with Spellcastersjudgement. Basically my muse for anything I write that is not depressing lol.
> 
> Beta’d by actual queen Cleopatra.

Joey was scrolling across his iPad as he munched on a bowl of cereal.

“Didja see this?!” His jaw all but dropped, threatening to spill cereal on the countertop.

Seto looked up from his Wall Street Journal issue, unamused. “Probably not.”

Joey leaned over, pushing the glowing device in front of the business periodical. “I’m number 1!” And true to form, it read “#1: Joey Kaiba” with a picture of the happy couple from the red carpet of a recent tournament. They looked polished with matching purple ties, and contrasting shirts: Joey in black and Seto in white.

Seto adjusted backwards in his seat, browsing through the listicle to consider it. “…Buzzfeed?”

“Yeah!”

“It is… A list of ‘the luckiest trophy spouses on Earth.’”

Joey’s eyes widened and he snatched the iPad back, quickly scrolling back up to the top of the article. “Dammit Teá, really?!” He poked through the article slowly.

“You may wish to read it more carefully.” Seto said, rising from his chair in the breakfast nook to refill his coffee. 

“Ugh, really?!”

“The whole article is trash. They only count you as a trophy spouse because they don’t realize that Professional Dueling is a real job. Among other inaccuracies.”

Joey angrily bit down on another spoonful of Froot Loops. “It _is_ a real job. I make my own money. I… oh my god.” 

His anger switched instantly to hysterical laughter, and he all but choked on the cereal.

“And I quote: ‘Joey Kaiba neé Wheeler gets the top spot because his man obvs way hotter than the average billionaire (including the other techies on our list). Almost anyone else marrying into money like _that_ is looking at some serious uggo or at least… abs that you can’t see through a shirt.” Joey paused to laugh.

“'But even though his husband, the Mr. Seto Kaiba of duh _that_ Kaiba Corp. is hella sexy, he’s also fucking nuts. Like his Wikipedia page is wild af. And idk if he’s ever done a product launch that didn’t take over a whole damn city!?’” Joey affected a Californian valley girl accent to sell the piece.

“I’m not ‘nuts.’”

“I know.”

“It’s just… a little flair.”

Joey stood up to press a kiss to Seto’s cheek. “I know. They’re not wrong, Set, I am the luckiest guy on Earth. Just messed up on some details is all.”


End file.
